Claimant

It took less than a month for our new driver to test the insurance coverage. Thankfully, it was a minor scratch on a parked car at the Target where our daughter works. Annie was running late for work and as she attempted to straighten out her crooked park job, she cut it a little too close. She did the right thing. She called her parents, left a note with her name and number, and then alerted the store manager in the event someone didn’t see the note. Unfortunately, this was of no consequence to the other driver. Despite seeing the note and talking with the manager, the person called the police and demanded Annie return to the scene of the crime. I decided I would do the driving this time.

As we approached the officer and the other driver, I coached Annie that she might be mad and just to remain calm. “Why did you leave?” the woman yelled before we were even in front of them. Annie first offered a sincere apology and then explained that she had left the note and told the manager and others in the store. “You need to be more responsible,” the woman continued to lay into her. Annie nodded and apologized again. A brief respite in the lecture came when the officer asked if he could have the license and insurance info so he could create the report. As soon as he stepped away, the punishment resumed. While I wanted Annie to have the experience, at some point the woman threatened to request the parking lot surveillance footage, and my fatherly instincts activated. “Ma’am. It was an accident. She left a note and told the store. We’re here because you called us on the number she left. She apologized. It’s over. Let’s focus on getting your car fixed.”

After some affirmation from the officer for doing the right thing combined with a gentle reminder to be more careful, we got in the car where my typically stoic daughter began to sob. As I calculated the exponential premium increases I could expect, I was also so angry at how this adult berated my child. As I thought about the exchange, I couldn’t help but think of a few times where I may have tried to pass off my anger or frustration in the form of a “lesson.” In life and leadership, how do I respond when I have a claim against someone? Especially when they take responsibility for the scratch or the dent in our relationship or work, do I focus on the repair, or do I choose to fixate on the damage? The Lord calls us to responsibility, but He never rejects those who seek Him with a sincere and contrite heart.

I knew Annie was in no mood for a lecture, but I did share that the most important lesson I wanted her to learn was to remember how it felt to be sincere in your apology, to accept responsibility, and not to be shown mercy. As we continue to bump up against each other in life, let’s help each other make things right versus shame them for their wrong.