“The process of healing also needs to include the pursuit of truth, not for the sake of opening old wounds, but rather as a necessary means of promoting justice, healing and unity.”
– Pope Francis
I once read that you should never let a disagreement linger. Perhaps I read it in “The Journal of Convenient Theories for Dan’s Personality,” but I’ve always been a strong proponent of digging in and fighting it out right away until the two parties reach some closure, especially when that closure involves the other party confirming that my party is the right party. Recently, a good friend of mine and I got into it. I knew I was right of course, but I also knew that despite my strong preference for hashing it out, my friend preferred some space. So being the mature, evolved, self-aware leader I am, I gave some space. However, every day I let pass, I became more convinced of my moral superiority and more frustrated that I couldn’t declare victory. A week later, I decided enough was enough and I dove in. It didn’t go well. Still no victory, just an elevated heartrate and some more misunderstanding.
Later that same week, I ran into another person with whom I had had some tense exchanges (yes, I know I am the common denominator). In this case, a lot of time had passed since our last tangle with no proclaimed victor. Perhaps it was because of the week we both were having, but without diving back into the hurt or discussing the disagreement, we both just decided to move forward. Neither one of us seemed like we needed to win, maybe because we were simply tired of the loss. The desire was for peace. And once I prayed for it and sought it, I received it.
As I drove home grateful for the person’s graciousness and God’s grace, I reflected on my fixation with getting things “resolved.” It became clear that what I thought was a factor of time was so much more a factor of the will. Whether it is two weeks or two months, true peace doesn’t come until we order our will away from winning and order it toward the will of the Father. Whether in life or leadership, fights or failures, until I ask what He wants, I won’t get what I profess to want. As we continue through this week, let’s pray for the grace to be people who fight for the peace only the Lord can bring.
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